Where Are The Dryer Sheets?
We go through life collecting beliefs, habits, values, hangups, stories, etc... Liz and Debi were taught that if we all followed “the formula” and lived in “the box” our lives would turn out good and right.
We are going through a serious deconstruction process. This is not just about faith and religion, but it's about the lies told us by the people in whom we put our trust. Some days we just want to throw ourselves into a great big ol’ dryer filled with extra dryer sheets so we can be rid of the static cling that collects beliefs that are antithetical to truth and goodness.
Dancing With Cancel Culture
"Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contracted."-Ralph Waldo Emerson
We view what others do through very personal lenses of experiences and beliefs. When we boycott companies, we've got to remember there are people and employees whose lives are affected by our actions.
People come into our lives to teach us lessons about life, the world, and ourselves. Liz and Debi believe that our own kids are born into this world to teach us and expose our weaknesses and biases. Of course we as parents mold and guide our kids, but let’s not miss the lessons they teach us!
We boycott and cancel everything from television shows to dish soap to coffee shops. To what end? While we may feel better about our moral high ground, we’ve got to remember that we are not an island and our actions affect so many others.
https://www.fresnomusicacademy.com
https://marriedwithchildren.fandom.com/wiki/Rakolta_Boycott
Lead On
Whether we’re leading a family, a team, a company, a city, or a nation, being a leader is both exhilarating and hard. From whom do we learn our leadership skills and style? There are certainly enough books on the topic, but figuring out how to lead is a very personal journey. Little by little we learn what works for us, and what works for the team.
Liz and Debi have both worked for people and organizations whose leaders regularly berate and talk down to their employees and team members. For them, that seems to work. But does that type of leadership grow a strong and healthy work environment? Leaders must figure out what kind of team members they want and how to draw those people in.
Family Secrets
Reasons for keeping secrets are as many and varied as the people who keep them. We stay silent because we don’t want to hurt someone or perhaps because we want to protect our reputation or that of the people we love.
Secrets always come out. The longer they’re held, the more difficult it will be when they are finally revealed. Today, we’re dancing with secrets.
Collective Grief
It may look a little bit different in each of us, but we’re all grieving in our own way. We’re grieving the loss of loved ones, relationships, jobs, even our innocence.
We know we’ve come to the end of our rope when the smallest thing causes our emotions to tip into crazy. If you’re not the one who has lost a job in the midst of Covid-19, you know someone who has. If you’re not the one who has been sick or hospitalized, you know someone who has.
Ignoring life’s challenges and detours only puts off the inevitable. Are we at the “new normal” yet, or is there more to learn? The not knowing can paralyze us, but standing still is not an option, so we’ll keep moving forward.
Dancing With Thoughts and Prayers
What is prayer?
The dictionary defines prayer as “A solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship”.
When someone cries out for prayer on social media, we promise “thoughts and prayers”, but what does that really mean? I’m guessing it means different things to different people. For us, prayer means we throw positive energy out into the Universe. God knows what we need and He wants to reveal the answers to us. For us, prayer is the act of connecting to God, the Divine, one another, and the Universe and we need connections more now than ever.
Dancing With Skeletons is sponsored by Fresno Music Academy and Arts. They offer voice and instrument lessons in person or online.
The Grief of Another Mass Shooting
What happens when we feel unsafe simply going to the supermarket? Sometimes there are just no words to express our collective shock and grief.
In today’s podcast episode Liz and Debi discuss the shootings in both Atlanta and Colorado. There are no easy answers, but we want to give space to share our collective sadness and grief. It is our desire to be a source of light and love.
Dancing With Skeletons is sponsored by Fresno Music Academy and Arts.
Dancing With PTSD
According to the American Psychiatric Association, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, can occur in all people, of any ethnicity, nationality or culture, and at any age. PTSD affects approximately 3.5 percent of U.S. adults every year, and an estimated one in 11 people will be diagnosed with PTSD in their lifetime. Women are twice as likely as men to have PTSD.
Intellectually, we may know we’re not in danger, but anxiety and PTSD can play with our otherwise rational minds. Triggers will jump out of the blue when we least expect them and conjure up unwelcome memories and emotions. We’ve often found ourselves in puddles of tears over the silliest things. THAT, my friend, is PTSD.
Miss Congeniality
March is Women's History Month and there is no shortage of fabulous women about whom we could chat. Instead, we decided to talk about each of our forgettable forays into the beauty queen world.
As we’ve entered into the last year of our 50’s, Liz and Debi know for certain that we women are stronger than we know, braver than we believe, and more beautiful than we let ourselves admit. Today we celebrate ALL women. Thank you for all you are to your families, friends, and the world. We love you.
Dancing With Race
Allison Lanford grew up in a small town in Central California where everyone in her small bubble was hard working, Christian, and white. Just a few short months after starting college Allison met the man who would become her husband. He is hardworking, Christian, and black.
2020 was a VERY difficult year for people of color here in America. Allison never imagined that racism would be a part of her regular life or that she would be faced with having “the talk” with her very young son.
This conversation is timely, vulnerable, and eye-opening.
www.DancingWithSkeletons.net
www.DebiRuud.com
Seeing Glimmers of Hope
The Broadway show Come From Away is the little-known story of the passengers on 38 planes that we diverted on 9/11 to Gander, Newfoundland when the American airspace was suddenly closed after the tragic events of that day. Suddenly nearly 7,000 people from all over the world landed in the small town—nearly doubling its size—and they needed food, showers, beds, and (most importantly) phones. They were stranded in a strange place with people who didn’t speak their language but who spared nothing to give the “come from aways” a safe place for a few days.
As we talked about the show and the way people cared for one another following the attacks on America, I couldn’t help but get very weepy. 2020 was full of anger and division, but we are capable of so much more! We are hopeful that goodness and kindness lies ahead.
Finding Safe Spaces
What happens when we believe we’re in a safe place, but that space becomes toxic? We often give our heart and love and friendship to people with whom we share our life and orbit. Brene’ Brown says, “genetics loads the gun; environment pulls the trigger”. When we know our genetics might not be on our side, we seek healthy environments so that our families have the best chances at success. But things don’t always go as planned.
Loss and Grace
Some of our friends and family have said and done incredibly hurtful things over the past year of unrest. Opinions, fear, anger, and misinformation can cause us to say unhealthy things in the moment. What happens after we say something unkind or hurtful and then somewhere down the road we find ourselves in a different place and a different mindset? Can we or should we apologize to the people we hurt along the way?
www.debiruud.com
wedancewithskeletons@gmail.com
On Getting Older
In this podcast episode, Liz and Debi talk about getting older. We have learned that we don’t have to stop playing just because we’re aging. Both Liz and Debi agree that each decade so far as been the best one yet, and we are grateful.
We’re Dancing With Stress
Each one of us deal with stress differently, but deal we must. In today’s podcast episode Liz and Debi talk about how we process anxiety. A therapist once told Debi that “homicide is more healthy than suicide”. In other words, it’s so often easier to blame others for what’s going on around us than it is to take personal responsibility for the struggles we face.
Liz and Debi Check In
Our hearts are hurting over broken relationships, lost moments, misinformation, and a new and growing willingness to cut people out our lives over minor disagreements. I doubt we’re alone in our sadness and we want to check in with all of you today. How are you? What’s on your heart today?
Check in with us!
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DancingWithSkeletons.net
Dancing With Our Beliefs
Being a kid was so easy. We just believed what our parents told us without question and with totally open hearts. And then we grew up.
Insurrection Debrief
After September 11, 2001 we gathered together as a nation to support, love, and comfort one another in ways many of us had never seen in our lifetimes. After those attacks on our home, we came together against a common enemy. The battles we’re facing now are different in that we’re fighting our own families, old friends, spiritual leaders, neighbors, and people with whom we’ve shared both laughter and tears.
The Lessons of 2020
20/20 denotes perfect vision. For many of us, our eyes have been opened to the realities of deep division, hurting hearts, broken families, and extreme sadness.
We Grapple With Gossip
We definitely live in an era of the rampant spread of misinformation and gossip. We often excuse the spread by calling it “freedom of speech”. Gossip never leads to freedom.