God, Country, and Marley
Two recent movies have stirred strong emotions in all who’ve seen them. Liz and Debi discuss the outrage and hope brought to the big screen via the films, God + Country, and Bob Marley: One Love.
We urge you to see them both.
Dancing With Toxic Therapy
I'm convinced we all need therapy. Finding the right program and the right therapist and the right person in whom to entrust our deepest needs is daunting. Do we call upon a Life Coach or a Psychiatrist? How much is too much to pay? Liz and Debi are asking these questions and do NOT pretend to have the answers. We only know what has and has NOT worked for us. We only know the dangers of toxic hope and we invite you on our journey of discovery.
Dancing With Death
How many of us think we have all our death ducks in a row? It can be really easy to think all the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed. It's easy to believe we've done the best we can for those we leave behind. However, there are a LOT of i's and t's and those left behind will be left to handle that which is left unhandled.
Feelings Are Like Farts
The right ingredients, the right recipe, and the right amount of time makes for less stress. Having a back-up plan and a team on whom we can depend are some of the key ingredients in success.
Dancing With New Traditions
Its so easy to raise our expectations to outrageous heights, especailly this time of the year. How open are we to NEW traditions - to NEW experiences? New can be scary. New can be uncomfortable. But just like a pair of really good shoes, NEW can be the best thing we’ve ever dared slip into.
Embrace the new.
But He Seemed So Happy
He was getting better.
He seemed at peace.
We had so much to look forward to.
He went out and got a hair cut.
It happens when we least expect it. When a friend or family member takes their own life, we play the last minutes, hours, and days over and over in our mind. What did they say? Maybe it was an accident. Could I have stopped it?
Today, our friend Kate stopped by to talk about the day her fiance' Andre' Bush took his own life. Andre' was a light! He was a bright talent, and a beautiful soul, but mental illness robbed him - and us - of all that should have been to come.
If you are struggling, please call 988 from ANY smart phone, or call 800-442-HOPE (4673) from any phone in the U.S.
https://www.amazon.com/Night-Falls-Fast-Understanding-Suicide/dp/0375701478
I’m Adaptable (or am I?)
Life has a way of throwing us the most unpredictable curve balls. That's so much more than a trope or a cliche'. It's just the damn truth.
There are days, weeks, or seasons, when we easily ebb and flow with life. We take the good and we meet the challenges head on.
Then there are those really hard seasons when we don't want to ADAPT! We want things to go our way, and if they don't, we kick and scream and throw child-like tantrums. Sometimes we just retreat.
In this episode, we also discuss the documentary, 1946. What if the word "homosexual" was never meant to be in the Bible? What if one WRONG translation changed the direction of The Church and started us down a road of hate and misunderstanding? Well, it happened in 1946.
Liz’s 6 year-old grandchild wrote a song recently called, "I'll Adapt To It". Honestly, if our little ones get the importance of going with the flow and accepting people exactly as they are, why can't we?
Meg Visits, Part 2
Today we talk with our friend Meg about "legacy burdens" of our culture: individualism, materialism, racism, and patriarchy.
These are terms that 'describe' the burdens, but being, individual or participating in capitalism in itself is not bad, but when these privileges become burdens then a society can suffer.
The idea behind identifying legacy burdens is to un-burden a society; again it's about first becoming aware so we can understand how we got to where we are today. of course this is a broad topic.
Boundaries - Excuses or Tools?
Have you noticed how many people use "boundaries" as a reason to not heal or reconcile with friends or loved ones? So many of us are claiming "triggers" as the reason to stay away from people with whom we disagree. There is absolutly a time and place for healthy boundaries, but a lot of people are using "healthy boundaries" as an excuse to not make ammends or to not accept people who simply hold different views and opinions.
Liz and Debi discuss this challenge and want to encourage relationship building without excuses.
Meg Visits
Our friend Meg is a retired Marriage & Family Therapist. After 42 years working as a hair stylist, she decided it was time for a change. Well, a bit of a change. I mean, we all know how many secrets we tell our stylist. They're already a kind of therapist - a hairapist if you will.
Meg encourages us to know our parts and do the work. Come dance with us for a little bit of hairapy.
I Was Just So Excited
A long-time married couple was asked to share their secret. He said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s ALL small stuff.” This nugget of truth has been shared and repeated over and over again by so many smart people. And yet…we need this daily reminder, don’t we?
Our 6 year-old grandchild was sorely disappointed when I showed up at the school to pick them up. They were expecting Mom, not Nonna. They burst into tears and said, “I was just so excited”. Talk about wisdom! Isn’t that the very thought that sums up most of our disappointments! We get excited about a planned vacation, the birth of a child, a visit from a long-gone family member, a job interview, a dinner date, etc. And then an unexpted obstacle happens. And it sucks because we were just so excited.
The Erosion of Trust in Authority
How many misdiagnosis, unkind interactions, ugly staff experiences, or bad treatments will we endure before we finally find the courage to say "enough", and look for a new doctor? We've been trained to trust doctors, police, first responders, etc..., but they, like you and me, are human. Sometimes they make mistakes, and sometimes they are just not the right man or woman for the job.
Surviving a High Control Relationship
Those of us who were raised in churches or homes in which we had little or no personal agency, can end up emotionally and socially stunted. We were taught to do things a certain way, and in so doing, we would be rewarded. When we follow the "rules" and life goes sideways, we can be easily derailed.
We must trust our own heart and mind AND have mercy and grace for those who may still be more comfortable living within the conformaties of their high control boxes. We'll break free at our own pace, but we WILL break free.
Trusting Your Creative Heart
So many of us live with Imposter Syndrome. We doubt our abilities; we doubt our purpose; we doubt that we have something the world wants or needs.
You can trust that if something is burning in your creative soul, the world will be a better place with you and your offering in it!
Birthing Creativity
Birthing a creative endeavor or event is an awful lot like growing and birthing a child. The birthing pains as the event gets frightningly close is very much like actual labor. There are times you want it to stop. Please, make it stop. But, it’s too late…the project is about to be presented to the world. Will it be “cute”? Will it be accepted by the other project “parents” in your friend/social circle? Will those who came before you or mentored you be proud of what you’ve done?
Liz and Debi discuss the birthing pains that come with creating. Here’s the deal, even though there’s fear, uncertainty, insecurities, and yes…pain…create anyway. The world is waiting for YOUR creativity. The world is waiting for the birth of the thing that ONLY YOU can produce!
Create!
Managing Our Expectations
The other day I posted a meme on Facebook that said simply, “stop expecting you from people”. This wraps up so succenctly what it means to expect certain behaviors from others. Because we consider ourselves to be honest, we expect honesty. Because we are givers, we expect others to give and serve. Because we are workaholics, we expect others to drop everything to adapt to our schedule.
Most of us expect that people we love and with whom we are in relationship, will see the best in us and will be slow to jump to conclusions. Sadly, this is not always the case. When we are the subject of lies and wild accusations, our hearts can break. We become defensive, and all we want in the world is to be understood. Sometimes it just seems that people have made up their minds, and nothing we say or do with every change that.
Caring For Mom
Many of us are becoming caregivers to our parents, or caretakers following a surgery or illness. Today we catch up with Debi who, along with her two siblings, is caring for their mom who suffered a serious injury.
We find that in these circumstances, there are both frustrations and moments of extreme joy. Say yes to the mess!
Triangulation Leads to Strangulation
Triangulaiton is when someone brings a third party into the relationship in order to defend themselves and their bad behavior. People do this by saying things like "all my other friends tell me I’m a great friend. If you don't think the same, it's YOUR problem." Our former president used this tactic all the time when he said things like, "many, many people tell me I'm doing a great job". This is triangulation. People who are a part of his tribe, but may be put off by his behavior, are bullied into silence because they don't want to be ostercized by their tribe. Donald Trump knew the power of belonging. He put people in the position of supporting him and being a part of the "in" crowd, or not supporting him and risk losing their friends and family relationships - and it worked!
Christmas Love is All Around
Yes, the holiday season can be hard for so many reasons, but finding good is never all that difficult if we just look for it. We all can listen better and care more.