Surviving a High Control Relationship
Those of us who were raised in churches or homes in which we had little or no personal agency, can end up emotionally and socially stunted. We were taught to do things a certain way, and in so doing, we would be rewarded. When we follow the "rules" and life goes sideways, we can be easily derailed.
We must trust our own heart and mind AND have mercy and grace for those who may still be more comfortable living within the conformaties of their high control boxes. We'll break free at our own pace, but we WILL break free.
Triangulation Leads to Strangulation
Triangulaiton is when someone brings a third party into the relationship in order to defend themselves and their bad behavior. People do this by saying things like "all my other friends tell me I’m a great friend. If you don't think the same, it's YOUR problem." Our former president used this tactic all the time when he said things like, "many, many people tell me I'm doing a great job". This is triangulation. People who are a part of his tribe, but may be put off by his behavior, are bullied into silence because they don't want to be ostercized by their tribe. Donald Trump knew the power of belonging. He put people in the position of supporting him and being a part of the "in" crowd, or not supporting him and risk losing their friends and family relationships - and it worked!