God, Country, and Marley
Two recent movies have stirred strong emotions in all who’ve seen them. Liz and Debi discuss the outrage and hope brought to the big screen via the films, God + Country, and Bob Marley: One Love.
We urge you to see them both.
Dancing With Toxic Therapy
I'm convinced we all need therapy. Finding the right program and the right therapist and the right person in whom to entrust our deepest needs is daunting. Do we call upon a Life Coach or a Psychiatrist? How much is too much to pay? Liz and Debi are asking these questions and do NOT pretend to have the answers. We only know what has and has NOT worked for us. We only know the dangers of toxic hope and we invite you on our journey of discovery.
Dancing With New Traditions
Its so easy to raise our expectations to outrageous heights, especailly this time of the year. How open are we to NEW traditions - to NEW experiences? New can be scary. New can be uncomfortable. But just like a pair of really good shoes, NEW can be the best thing we’ve ever dared slip into.
Embrace the new.
Boundaries - Excuses or Tools?
Have you noticed how many people use "boundaries" as a reason to not heal or reconcile with friends or loved ones? So many of us are claiming "triggers" as the reason to stay away from people with whom we disagree. There is absolutly a time and place for healthy boundaries, but a lot of people are using "healthy boundaries" as an excuse to not make ammends or to not accept people who simply hold different views and opinions.
Liz and Debi discuss this challenge and want to encourage relationship building without excuses.
Meg Visits
Our friend Meg is a retired Marriage & Family Therapist. After 42 years working as a hair stylist, she decided it was time for a change. Well, a bit of a change. I mean, we all know how many secrets we tell our stylist. They're already a kind of therapist - a hairapist if you will.
Meg encourages us to know our parts and do the work. Come dance with us for a little bit of hairapy.
Trusting Your Creative Heart
So many of us live with Imposter Syndrome. We doubt our abilities; we doubt our purpose; we doubt that we have something the world wants or needs.
You can trust that if something is burning in your creative soul, the world will be a better place with you and your offering in it!
Birthing Creativity
Birthing a creative endeavor or event is an awful lot like growing and birthing a child. The birthing pains as the event gets frightningly close is very much like actual labor. There are times you want it to stop. Please, make it stop. But, it’s too late…the project is about to be presented to the world. Will it be “cute”? Will it be accepted by the other project “parents” in your friend/social circle? Will those who came before you or mentored you be proud of what you’ve done?
Liz and Debi discuss the birthing pains that come with creating. Here’s the deal, even though there’s fear, uncertainty, insecurities, and yes…pain…create anyway. The world is waiting for YOUR creativity. The world is waiting for the birth of the thing that ONLY YOU can produce!
Create!
Managing Our Expectations
The other day I posted a meme on Facebook that said simply, “stop expecting you from people”. This wraps up so succenctly what it means to expect certain behaviors from others. Because we consider ourselves to be honest, we expect honesty. Because we are givers, we expect others to give and serve. Because we are workaholics, we expect others to drop everything to adapt to our schedule.
Most of us expect that people we love and with whom we are in relationship, will see the best in us and will be slow to jump to conclusions. Sadly, this is not always the case. When we are the subject of lies and wild accusations, our hearts can break. We become defensive, and all we want in the world is to be understood. Sometimes it just seems that people have made up their minds, and nothing we say or do with every change that.
Caring For Mom
Many of us are becoming caregivers to our parents, or caretakers following a surgery or illness. Today we catch up with Debi who, along with her two siblings, is caring for their mom who suffered a serious injury.
We find that in these circumstances, there are both frustrations and moments of extreme joy. Say yes to the mess!
Triangulation Leads to Strangulation
Triangulaiton is when someone brings a third party into the relationship in order to defend themselves and their bad behavior. People do this by saying things like "all my other friends tell me I’m a great friend. If you don't think the same, it's YOUR problem." Our former president used this tactic all the time when he said things like, "many, many people tell me I'm doing a great job". This is triangulation. People who are a part of his tribe, but may be put off by his behavior, are bullied into silence because they don't want to be ostercized by their tribe. Donald Trump knew the power of belonging. He put people in the position of supporting him and being a part of the "in" crowd, or not supporting him and risk losing their friends and family relationships - and it worked!
Christmas Love is All Around
Yes, the holiday season can be hard for so many reasons, but finding good is never all that difficult if we just look for it. We all can listen better and care more.
Lessons From The Littles
We are moms who believe our kids not only come into the world for us to raise, but to raise us up as well. There are so many good and valuable lessons we’ve learned from our kids that we would not have learned any other way, and we are grateful.
Miracles: Rethinking The Definition
Maybe the miracle is not the thing you're wanting or praying for, but the miracle is the new people and experiences that come to us on the journey that is life. Today Debi and Liz rethink what miracles really look like, and how to appreciate the daily goodness.
Set Up For The New Season
Liz and Debi have had a Summer. They’ve had good days, bad days, surprises, set backs, disappointments, joys…you know, life! :)
Community Expectations
Who is your community? What is the role you play in your community, and how do they support and encourage you?
Where’s The Fruit?
Every step in the growth and growing process is important. We have to have the right soil, good fertilizers, flowers, and the bees to pollinate.
Ice Cream, Poop Bowls, and Brownies
Would you eat a brownie tainted with dog poop, or ice cream from a bowl made of cow dung? Even the tiniest of lies are degrading our conversations and reputations. Isn't it about time we see the little lies for what they truly are - lies!?
Paths and Birthdays
Some of us are kind of like snowballs who have just rolled through life, collecting relationships and memories as we go along. Some of us have made conscious and purposeful life choices in hope that life will bring all that we want. Turning 60 makes you want to be far more purposeful with choices and relationships.
Building On A Strong Foundation
Many of us have experienced real loss in our lives. Shakeups contribute to disorientation and often leave us wondering just how much shaking we can actually survive. It really will all depend on the integrity of the foundation on which we've built our lives and families.
www.DancingWithSkeletons.net
www.DebiRuud.com
WeDanceWithSkeletons@Gmail.com
What Gives You Joy?
It's easy to wallow in the mourning of all we've lost and all we can no longer do and be. But there is still so much joy to be had.
www.DancingWithSkeletons.net
www.DebiRuud.com
Contact: WeDanceWithSkeletons@Gmail.com